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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27638984">Dean Winchester is saved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Dreams/pseuds/Immortal_Dreams'>Immortal_Dreams</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Other 51 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Canon Temporary Character Death, Dean Winchester Gets a Hug, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, He gets better, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, written before the finale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:49:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27638984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Dreams/pseuds/Immortal_Dreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean hates the fact that it took him twelve years and Cas dying too many times, and one final time. He hates that, had Cas never confessed his feelings, he’d still be happily pretending he’s straight. There was a time when he cared about things like that. A few years ago, Dean would have punched anyone who even dared to suggest he was anything but straight. Now, he can’t bring himself to care, and he wonders why he ever did. Looking perfectly straight isn’t so great anymore when the love of your life is dead and in a place you can never follow him to.</p>
<p>OR, another 15x18/15x19 fix-it, written before watching the finale.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Other 51 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dean Winchester is saved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>By the time I am posting this, some of you have probably already watched the final episode. I won't be able to watch it until tomorrow evening and I could not let this show be over without writing one last fic before the end. It likely won't be the last one I ever write, but it'll be the last fix-it of destiel's story before canon writes it.</p>
<p>I'm tired, it was already 1am when I started this, I know I've already written one of these, but I really hope this is actually good.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>THEN</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Dean Winchester is saved!</b>
</p>
<p>The call echoing through the minds of thousands of angels, even those fallen from grace. A man, in the dark about the ripples his rescue is causing, crawling out of his own grave. An angel’s path at the verge of differing from any other universe’s version of him. The beginning of a story and the beginning of the end. The end turns out not to be the end, but the story…the story becomes the most magnificent, the most beautiful thing this world has ever seen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Dean Winchester is saved.</b>
</p>
<p>An echo only felt by the last three (more-or-less) humans left on earth. A bloody hand print left on a jacket, reminiscent of the burn from twelve years ago. The angel’s last sacrifice leaving a gaping hole in the heart of the one saved by it. Three words, left unanswered, on replay in the once righteous man’s head. <i>I love you</i>. Four words left unsaid, but no less true for it. <i>I love you, too</i>. The words unsaid create a regret that, unless dealt with, will spiral into destruction. The words said, even though they were uttered in goodbye, create the opportunity for two brothers to finally write their own story.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>NOW</b>
</p>
<p>Dean can’t sleep. They won, they defeated <i>god</i>, got to write their own ending. And Dean still can’t <i>fucking sleep</i>. Because every time he so much as closes his eyes, he sees dark hair, he sees a familiar trench coat, he sees that damn beautiful smile. And he wrenches his eyes open because that smile hurts more than anything else ever could. </p>
<p>Sam isn’t in the bunker right now. He never is, these days. When they won, when Jack brought back everyone Chuck has dusted, Eileen came back too. So, of course Sam’s with her most of the time. Those two are perfect for each other, and Dean doesn’t even have to lie when he says he’s happy for his baby brother. Sam deserves to be happy. After all he’s been through, he deserves to be with the woman he loves, deserves to finally have that apple pie life he always wanted. And he’s getting it. They get to decide what happens, now.</p>
<p>It’s strange, now that they have that. Ever since he found out Chuck was behind every decision he’s ever made, everything that ever happened to him, Dean has wanted nothing more than be free. He is free now. And somehow, it’s not everything he ever wanted. Sure, it’s nice to know that there isn’t another apocalypse lingering around the corner. It’s nice to stop being tossed from one battle into the next. It’s nice not to loose even more people. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? He’s already lost too much. Dean has always been able to move on, to keep living, keep hunting, when he lost yet another loved one. That’s different now. Or maybe it’s just Cas that’s different.</p>
<p>Cas dying, Cas <i>sacrificing himself</i>, for him (<s>he wasn’t worth it</s>), it was the final straw. The one thing that is too much, that hurts too badly, for Dean to cope with. Because Cas <i>loved</i> him and Dean didn’t know. How didn’t he know?</p>
<p>
  <i>“You asked what about all of this is real. We are.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Cas’ issue with personal space.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“We do share a more profound bond.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The looks.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I have a price on my head, and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them. To keep them away from you.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The sacrifices.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You have to run! Now!”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The stares.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hello, Dean.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The fucking stares.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You’re my family.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Saving the Winchesters, born or honorary.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Saving him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I love you.”</i>
</p>
<p>How did he not know? Looking back at it now, Dean can see it. In everything Cas ever said, everything he ever did, from the moment they met. All of it screams <i>“I’m in love with Dean Winchester!”</i>. </p>
<p>And everyone knew. Sam knew, Bobby knew, Mary knew. Everyone they ever met saw it. Hell, even the monsters, the demons, the angels. They all knew. Except for him. Everyone knew Castiel was in love with Dean Winchester, except for Dean Winchester. <i>Why didn’t he know?</i></p>
<p>He wants to go back, wants to go back to the beginning. To the first time Cas chose him over everything he knew. And Dean wants to grip his angel tight, and tell him. Tell him that he loves him. </p>
<p>Before he—before. Cas told him that he could never have the one thing he really wanted. Dean wants to get one more minute with Cas, just so he can tell him he was wrong. That he can have it. That he can have <i>him</i>. </p>
<p>Dean hates the fact that it took him twelve years and Cas dying too many times, and one final time. He hates that, had Cas never confessed his feelings, he’d still be happily pretending he’s straight. There was a time when he cared about things like that. A few years ago, Dean would have punched anyone who even dared to suggest he was anything but straight. Now, he can’t bring himself to care, and he wonders why he ever did. Looking perfectly straight isn’t so great anymore when the love of your life is dead and in a place you can never follow him to.</p>
<p>It’s not like he hasn’t tried. All those sleepless nights were spent in the bunker’s library, going through books and trying to find a way to get into the Empty. He didn’t find anything, not even a spell that can get him in, but not out. Usually those are easier to find. And Dean would be lying if he said he wouldn’t use that spell. At this point, an eternity in super-hell with Cas sounds better than a lifetime on earth without him. God, Dean is glad Sam can’t hear his thoughts. He’d smack him across the head for even thinking about that. But there’s no use in denying it. Especially since Dean has evolved to making note of any spell, or ritual, or whatever that could potentially turn him into an angel or a demon. You know, anything that goes to the Empty after dying. He knows Jack could probably do that for him, but he doesn’t want to get the kid involved. He also doesn’t want to explain to him how he intends to off himself the moment Jack turns him into an angel. It doesn’t matter too much, though. That search has only brought up one ritual and several of the ingredients needed are extinct by now.</p>
<p>Dean knows he should probably stop looking. It’s not good for him. But then he closes his eyes and sees those blue eyes, and he keeps on looking. So he makes himself another cup of coffee and settles in for another night of reading old books until he passes out from exhaustion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s two months, sixteen days and twelve hours after Castiel’s death when Dean finally breaks. He’s having dinner with his group of friends turned family. Sam, Eileen, Bobby, Charlie, Stevie, Donna, Jody, Alex, Claire, Kaia, they’re all there. And it’s fun, it really is. Dean made burgers and they’re telling jokes and sharing stories and things are fine. But as it gets later, it also gets quieter. And soon, Kaia and Claire are cuddling on a sofa and Stevie’s sleeping on Charlie’s shoulder. It’s hard, to see them so in love, but Dean can handle it. But then Sam and Eileen are giggling and Sam signs ‘I love you’ to her and suddenly Dean’s crying.</p>
<p>He can’t even control it, one moment he’s fine and the next he’s bawling his eyes out and drawing everyone’s eyes on him. They’re all worried, he can see it even through the tears. Sam gets up, ready to comfort him but Dean can’t deal with that right now. He stands up abruptly, pushing his chair back.</p>
<p>“I—” he starts, “I can’t. It’s too much—I—<i>Cas</i>—I—I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>And he runs. He runs to the one place he hasn’t been able to visit even once since that night. The dungeon. The place where—</p>
<p>The bloody sigil is still on the door. Dean doesn’t think Sam knows it’s there, otherwise he’d probably have washed it off by now. He’s glad he hasn’t. It’s the only thing he has left, that and the jacket with the bloody hand print. That one’s still in Dean’s closet. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to wash it.</p>
<p>He slides down to the floor, leaned against a wall in the exact same spot as that day. And he cries and remembers and cries some more. He doesn’t know how long he sits there until he starts talking. Only some of it makes sense. He talks about how he blames himself, about how he hates that even though they won, he still lost. He talks about how much he regrets saying nothing.</p>
<p>“I just stood there,” he chokes out between sobs. “You were confessing your love and I just <i>stood there</i>. I—” He drops his face in his hands. “I should’ve said something. I should’ve said it <i>back</i>. Because that’s just what it is, you know? I <i>didn’t</i> say it. And you died thinking we could never—that I didn’t—”</p>
<p>Dean breaks off, more sobs wrecking through his body.</p>
<p>“I <i>love</i> you. I’ve loved you for ages, and I didn’t understand until you said it and now it’s too late for me to say it. But it’s true. I love you. I love you so much. And I don’t know how to keep going. Being free isn’t worth it without you.”</p>
<p>He keeps talking and sobbing and falling apart. Time stops being a thing. It could have been days when Jack shows up, or hours. Hell, it could have been minutes. Dean sure as fuck has no idea.</p>
<p>But Jack does show up. He pulls Dean up and hugs him. By the time Dean’s processed what is happening, Jack has already let him go again. Dean just stares blankly at him, wiping tears out of his eyes so he can see him.</p>
<p>“Jack?” he asks, and his voice sounds so fucking hoarse from all the crying.</p>
<p>The kid smiles and holds up his hand. “Hello, Dean.”</p>
<p>Dean bites back another sob. “Why are you here?”</p>
<p>“Well,” Jack says, drawing out the word. “You know I’m all about balance, right? See, that includes being at peace with other cosmic beings.”</p>
<p>Not really having the emotional capability to have much of a reaction, Dean just looks at Jack and waits for him to go on.</p>
<p>Jack sighs. “The Empty is…unhappy. I said it could sleep, but now it can’t because someone woke up. Now, usually it likes to keep the people in its realm, but wanting to sleep is more important than any deals it made right now. So, it gave me permission to take the one who’s awake. And since you’re the one who woke him up, I thought it would only be fair to leave him with you.”</p>
<p>Dean blinks. “What?”</p>
<p>He has no idea what the hell Jack’s talking about. How could he have woken anyone up in the Empty? That’s not how things work. But before Dean can say anything else, Jack disappears in a flash of light. And in his place, someone else appears. Someone Dean didn’t think he’d ever see again. But now, he’s staring into blue eyes that look just as confused as he is.</p>
<p>“Dean?”</p>
<p>“Cas?”</p>
<p>They stare at each other. But the confusion only lasts a few seconds before it gives way to pure joy. Dean chokes back another sob, but a happy one this time, and pulls Cas into a hug. Immediately, Cas winds his arms around Dean’s back and burrows his head into his shoulder.</p>
<p>Dean can barely believe this is real. But he can feel Cas. It <i>is</i> real. Cas is really here.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Dean whispers. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but I love you so much, Cas.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Cas whispers back, smiling against Dean’s shoulder. “I heard you. I love you too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>DEAN WINCHESTER IS SAVED</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A quiet laugh, echoed by his lover. The angel who rebelled pressing a kiss to the righteous man’s lips. The most epic love story ever told coming to a close. The end of something and the start of something else. The sacrifices have finally paid off and the story written by the characters themselves is more beautiful than anything the author could have ever done.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do me a favour and don't comment anything with spoilers for 15x20 before saturday, yeah? Thanks.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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